Writer’s Desk: Grammar Cops

falcon1

Elements_of_Style_coverA scene from perhaps the greatest movie that will never be made:

EXT. CITY ALLEYWAY. NIGHT.
Police tape marks the scene. Red and blue lights flash. A young, nervous-looking BEAT COP sees STRUNK and WHITE approaching.

BEAT COP
It’s over here, detectives. The body was found about an hour ago.

STRUNK
Use the active voice, rookie.

BEAT COP
Oh god, it’s horrible. I feel nauseous.

STRUNK
Unless you mean you’re sickening to contemplate, you mean “nauseated.” Now get out of  my crime scene before you puke all over it.

WHITE (inspecting the body)
It’s definitely our guy, Strunk.

STRUNK
The Crossword Killer?

WHITE
Yeah. And look, he’s getting more confident. This time, he used a pen.

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